Poker Forum by Poker is Rigged

THE TWO-COW THEORY OF ECONOMICS



A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful so you vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous.


A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.
Your lazy, stupid neighbor can get his own.


SOCIALISM:
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.


COMMUNISM:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.


FASCISM:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.


CAPITALISM - AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk in the garbage.


A DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows.
The government takes both and cuts off your hands.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have
downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
Life is good.


A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
Life is good.


A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You genetically engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, run a hundred miles an hour and know how to milk themselves.


A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows none of which belong to you.
You deny having them, but still charge the owners for storage.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You take her to lunch.
Life is good.


A POLISH CORPORATION:
You have two bulls.
Several people are killed attempting to milk them.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times more milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them again and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have twelve cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months.
The Mafia shows up and takes your cows.


A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
You think you might have two cows, but you don't know exactly what a cow looks like.
You take a nap.
Life is good.


A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You enter into a partnership with an American corporation.
Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them as gods.


A TALIBAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You cannot milk them because your religion forbids the touching of any animals genitals.
You tape several pounds of explosives to their underside and blow them up in a field.
You blame the godless American infidels for making you a murderer.


A GEORGE W. BUSH CORPORATION:
Your daddy buys you two cows.
You have no idea how to milk or care for them.
You have a dream that "terrorists" are going to try to steal them.
You build a massive missle shield to defend your cows, but they die from arsenic in the water before it is complete.
You tell people not to mess with Texas.

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Bureaucracy cows lol. I don't get Democrat and Republican cows, I don't know too much about American politics other than Obama to win!

Too close to the truth is you ask me! lol

Blowing cows up in a field is too close to the truth? You're nuts.